I felt ashamed that I'd left my friends in Iraq

I'd been promoted and there were guys I needed to look after

I needed closure

I did everything the lads did and the stigma soon shifted.

My experiences in Iraq had become a constant, invasive thought

I saw these people as heroes. I didn't think I was worthy

Bomb disposal is less dangerous than people think

I don't believe in women pilots, but you're ok.

You've got five minutes to get off the aircraft.

For a moment you just have to wait and see if everything is ok.

That day the whole world changed.

When we lose someone we journey through it as a family.